Searching for a Spiritual Sunday, Maybe

Growing up, I was baptized Episcopalian, in my teens, I joined a more evangelical Christian church (possibly for the babes), and then eventually developed my current agnostic/Buddhist beliefs. While I like where I am in my beliefs and values, I miss the community of church. I miss the devotion of a few hours to find meaning, a lesson, and motivation for the coming week. Finding a few hours to encourage personal development and service to others.

I try to meditate daily, but even guided meditation isn't doing it. My favorite meditation leader, Tara Brach, gives many amazing talks, which I turn to when looking to do "the work." While I HIGHLY recommend checking out all of her talks and meditations, especially Stress and Every Day Nirvana, I still long for the community.

It is a hard thing to find these digital days, community. I am a stay at home mom and the only adult conversations I have is the 20 minutes during parent pick up and when my husband gets home, if we can talk over the children yelling for our attention. I have Instagram friends, but I hardly know their real first names, only their IG handles, and only what they want to share on social media.

So, how do we create community? Meaningful community? Purposeful community? Where we can commit a few hours to each other, in service, in contemplation, in productivity? How do we find the time with our children's activities, family obligations, and general reclusiveness.

Next Sunday I am going to attend a Unitarian Church  service to see if that is a fit for me in an earnest attempt to find community. Perhaps old habits die hard? I'll keep you updated.... if you are out there.

Finding a New Purpose

2018 ended in a terrible way for me. 

This brought me into a new year in a major funk. I am a gal who always has clear intentions going into a new year. I know what my next steps are going to be, where I want to go, how to get there. 

2019 did not start that way. I felt lost. I was floundering for ideas, purpose, I was down, feeling like I was just existing.

Yesterday I started to write stuff down to help me start a direction. Anything. While I don't have any major goals yet, I have a few plans to keep me positive and moving forward.

2019 Goals

1. Learn Italian. 

After our trip to Europe last spring, it is certain that Italy is my favorite country to visit. We stayed in Airbnbs and tried to do as the locals do, but also enjoying a tour or two. I fell in love with the food, the language, the culture, the architecture, the history, and did I mention the wine? Definitely the wine.

Learning Italian will empower me to visit the country again and feel braver when conversing with Italian locals. That was a big pain point for me on our last visit, while luckily, most people speak English; I am certain I would feel much more comfortable knowing more of the language, rather than just the general greetings. 

I am starting with the Duolingo app, but will be looking into actual lessons or courses soon. Do you have any recommendations? Do you speak multiple languages?

2. Grow more/eat more plants.

Plants ground me. Whether I am growing them in my garden, in a pot indoors, or a cactus on the mountain, plants connect me to something bigger than me. I am a vegetarian, working harder on eating less and less animal products. By eating more plants, I will have more energy, be healthier, and reduce my carbon footprint. This will also continue to create good habits for my boys and their health.

My sister, who just finished her last round of chemotherapy (YAY!), and I will be working together on creating some plant-based meal plans. This is a form of cooking together, but across the country... and may play into my next goal, too.

3. Act creatively.

This is to ensure I am doing something outside of being a mom, wife, friend. While all of those things are of dire importance to me, it's easy to be lost in those roles. This ensures I look inside to find me, my voice, my visions for things. This can be painting more, writing more, blogging more, picking up my real camera again... 

How did the beginning of 2019 find you? I hope you have some clarity in the path you are venturing down this year. I hope it is a year of growth and positivity for all of us.